A Level Portfolio Project. Day X: The Sad

 

    Well, here we are, my next blog will be the finished short film (along side other stuff) and then we will be done. 

    Here I am now, being forced to reflect on my work, and while usually I would make a snarky joke saying that I am being "pinned down and forced to think" or something, this time I really just want to show how happy I am that I got to do this. I wasn't perfect with it, hell I missed the mark by a fucking continent, I mean sorry a fricking continent, too much profanity, looks bad. I am not the perfect artiste I want to be deep down, just like how calfism isn't the perfect religion that will fufill all of Otto's dreams. Like religion, art is messy, it has a lot of moving parts that tend to clash against each other, they require a lot of effort to be successfull and a real internal belief in what they stand for. I missed a lot of what I was supposed to do for this, and this isn't me making excuses or getting down on my knees and apologizing for it, it's me accepting that it says a lot about me as an artist. I may not have done a perfect job uh, job wise, but dammit did I not let that take away from me at my art.

    Don't get me wrong, theres a lot that I would have done differently if I could, so many shots make little sense and the audio turned out to be a fucking nightmare to work with, but theres also a lot that I really like the results of. I don't see the rougher parts of my short as a being necessarilly problems but charming little mistakes that give the whole thing a B-movie feel, you might say that's cheap and unearned, I say yeah, but it's my baby and I choose to love it.

    I am so grateful for the team I had, we all worked together to make something different, even if you wind up not liking what we did it will stand out against everything else as this weird little hilarious piece of religious commentary with some great god damn music. I have to give a lot of flowers to Emi, to say she pulled her weight would be an understatement to the ant levels of pulling weight she did. She put her whole heart and soul into this which is not something I can say about everybody I've worked with and I just can't hate a finished product that has that behind it. Now I don't wanna make it seem like I didn't do anything, I'd go as far to say I did a lot. The editing phase would have actually have given me a panic attack but the Mrs. Stoklosa told me to restart my computer and take a second to breath, and admitablly that second restored my breath. I combed all of weston driving us back and forth and back and forth, the route to my house, Emi's house, and the church we filmed at is like a triangle in my mind due to how used to it I became. I wrote the script (Emi changing a few parts) I had the idea, I edited about half of it, and I even acted, I don't want my subpar (at best) work in these blogs reflect on my character, I had teammates who's grades relied on me and I provided. I haven't given Andrew any credit yet and thats unfair. He wound up in situations where either he didn't have as much to do directly or his work wound up going unused, he came up with the original design for our postcard which we loved but then we realized it wouldn't work and had to redo it completely, this design what going to be partially in the short but it also wound up cut. Still if it weren't for that original postcard - which he made early into the production - the branding would have ended up with a completely different look, so I have to be thankful. Plus he really came out of his shell while filming and acting, which I appreaciate as someone who has learnt to be more social and out-there due to making such odd films.

    I am geniuenly so sad knowing that this is my last rodeo around here, my last blog, my last project, my last collaboration. I will forever hold this project to my heart, it's a combination of so many moving parts it's hard not to appreciate. To show my love, I will be hanging up the only prop I kept which I did not already own in my wall, this calfism poster. It will be inbetween my taxi driver poster and my door.

    I was so excited to finally finish the project, but now I am just sad. I am gonna miss this wacky world where it felt as if anything could happen, no idea was too out there, anything funny was on the table, and it reflected my ideas, as a person living in a world with religion and as an artist.

    So goodbye beautiful people, and don't forget, CALFISM4LIFE!